I saw myself in the mirror this morning.
My reflection reminded me of a pair of pants I had long, long ago. They were light blue (if not burnt orange). The legs flared (moderately) at the feet end. I think they were the only B3 (bell-bottom britches) I ever owned.
This morning I sadly noticed again that my pants now flare…at the opposite end. 😯
That eventually provoked another memory — this from an annual family reunion (as I recall). As I was greeting a couple of uncles (whose names are here changed to protect the…ah…innocent), Uncle Sam, pointing to Uncle Gary, says to me, “Did you know he has furniture disease?”
Gulp! I had no idea. 🙁
Trying to strike a balance between caution and concern, I admitted I didn’t.
“Yeah, furniture disease,” says Uncle Sam gleefully, “his chest fell into his drawers!”
Serious stuff, man. Amazingly (in hindsight), Uncle Sam didn’t go on to declare that Uncle Gary wears real bell-bottom pants.
Speaking of belled pants, we also have the matter of panted belles. They’re all over the place. And most people think nothing of it.
But let a skirted non-belle show up at school and he’s sure to get the boot. Yep, I saw a headline about just that over at Drudge earlier this morning.
If a girl may wear pants to school, why mayn’t a boy wear a skirt to school?
If panted belles are OK, why not skirted buoys?
Well, back to my opening dilemma. I suspect the solution isn’t all that complicated: eat less and exercise more.
Having bell-bottomed pants just can’t be a good sign.