So two of my offspring are discussing the kind of mileage a certain vehicle gets.<\/p>\n
Then the elder of the two says, “But if you drove like Dad, you would get better mileage.” (Something along those lines, if that isn’t an exact quote.)<\/p>\n
Huh. \ud83d\ude2f <\/p>\n
No doubt.<\/p>\n
My typical driving patterns and pace almost certainly take me further per tablespoon of fuel than theirs does them.<\/p>\n
But what other ways might so grand a statement end?<\/p>\n
“But if you drove like Dad, your brakes and rotors would last longer.”<\/p>\n
“But if you drove like Dad, you would be far less likely to get pulled over.”<\/p>\n
“But if you drove like Dad, you could own your vehicles as long as he owns his.”<\/p>\n
Hmmm. Not bad. And I’m sure I could conjure up (or even merely conjure) a few more. But I’ll quit.<\/p>\n
Almost.<\/p>\n
“But if you drove like Dad, you would fall asleep at the wheel out of sheer boredom.”<\/p>\n
Oh, yeah? Whatever. \ud83d\ude44<\/p>\n
But how about if you drove like…uh…well, like this:<\/p>\n