{"id":2436,"date":"2012-06-01T07:28:15","date_gmt":"2012-06-01T14:28:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/?p=2436"},"modified":"2012-06-01T07:28:15","modified_gmt":"2012-06-01T14:28:15","slug":"how-to-kill-a-gopher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/2012\/how-to-kill-a-gopher\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Kill a Gopher"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wish the title could be “How to Eradicate a Gopher in Three Easy Steps.” \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

Alas, I don’t know how many steps it took, but I suppose somewhere between 53 and 287.<\/p>\n

Hey, I had to keep changing positions, OK?<\/p>\n

Then, besides the steps, I have to include the pumps (111?) and the squeezes (10?). \ud83d\ude2f <\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"\"760<\/a>I was using my son’s 760 Pumpmaster<\/a> howitzer, er, BB gun<\/span>. I think it was my tenth shot that finally scored.<\/p>\n

He was a patient gopher. Or bold. Or ignorant.<\/p>\n

Was.<\/p>\n

I finally got him.<\/p>\n

\"dead<\/a>
\nMy BB-stopping gopher. He’s dead.<\/i><\/div>\n

I used to trap gophers, but the trap rusted and broke this winter.<\/p>\n

\"broken<\/a>
\nMy gopher-stopping cinch trap — just a little broken!<\/i><\/div>\n

So two days ago I decided to try my hand at hands-off gopher control.<\/p>\n

\"poised<\/a>
\nMe and my gopher-shooting “blind”<\/i><\/div>\n

Our aged dog Tyke helped by catching (and eating) a couple of them last week.<\/p>\n

Photo withheld in deference to the…ah…sensitive.<\/div>\n

We have a few more gophers left in our yards and garden areas. Not good. They eat our beets and carrots. They kill our bean plants. They create unsightly hills in our yards. On the positive side, they can help decrease our dog food bill.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, I have a good arsenal: dog, air rifle, shovel, machete-on-a-pole, water hose, cinch trap<\/a>\"\" (broken), and gas bombs<\/a>\"\". One of them is bound to work again!<\/p>\n

In closing, three helpful how-to-links elsewhere on the Web:<\/p>\n