{"id":2682,"date":"2013-03-25T17:39:49","date_gmt":"2013-03-26T00:39:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/?p=2682"},"modified":"2013-03-25T17:39:49","modified_gmt":"2013-03-26T00:39:49","slug":"weapons-grade-assault-food","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/2013\/weapons-grade-assault-food\/","title":{"rendered":"Weapons-Grade Assault Food"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>First of all, I&#8217;ve led a sheltered life &#8212; I had no idea about triangular pancakes. \ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n<p>Second of all, what&#8217;s to keep the aggressive &#8220;non-lambs&#8221; from cutting their altered flapjacks back into weapons-grade assault triangles? \ud83d\ude2f<\/p>\n<p>Third of all, here&#8217;s the story as I copied and pasted it: <!--more--><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A school has banned triangular flapjacks after a pupil was injured by one.<\/p>\n<p>Dinner staff at Castle View school in Canvey Island, Essex, were told to cut the treat into squares or rectangles following the incident.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Fourth of all, dum. \ud83d\ude44<\/p>\n<p>Fifth of all, this started out as a Google+ post but ended up repurposed as this. \ud83d\ude41 It kept me from more productive work which would put food on the table. Now I must go to the project that got delayed (because I clicked on that Drudge link) &#8212; harvesting dandelion tops in our front yard. <img src=\"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-includes\/images\/smilies\/mrgreen.png\" alt=\":mrgreen:\" class=\"wp-smiley\" style=\"height: 1em; max-height: 1em;\" \/><\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve led a sheltered life &#8212; I had no idea.<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[389,395,14,7,20],"tags":[709,971],"class_list":["post-2682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children","category-dumb-and-such","category-health","category-suspension-of-disbelief","category-youve-been-warned","tag-education","tag-food"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/prJUJ-Hg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2682"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2682\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eaf.net\/mvp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}