This happened recently to a family in our church. That’s pretty close to home.
It happened at a doctor’s office in Silverton, Oregon. That’s close to home also.
A mother took her toddler in for a routine check-up. In the course of the visit, the doctor asked the little girl, “What does your mommy do when you are bad?”
What?!
When the little girl matter-of-factly answered, “Spank me,” the doctor reacted by berating the mother. In front of the child.
What?!
In my estimation, that doctor committed two extremely serious wrongs here.
First, unless there is evidence (and there was none) that the child is being abused, she has absolutely and positively no business asking a little one such a question. None. Period. To me, she is guilty of a monumental ethical violation.
Secondly, to lambaste the mother in front of her daughter is a tremendous lapse in judgment, protocol, and professionalism. And manners, too.
Would the mainstream media please make an issue of doctors who thus spy on and invade the privacy of innocent families? Maybe even make this at least as big a story as the monitoring of terror suspects’ international communications?
(I’d tell you the doctor’s name but I don’t have it.)
So you tell me — Am I over-reacting? Is this normal for doctors to do? Is it morally right? Is it legally acceptable?
Of course you are not over reacting. This is a total invasion of privacy on the part of the Dr. My son had a similar experience about two years ago when a Dr in Portland asked him if we kept firearms in the house. My son wisely replied that it was he had no business asking such a question as it was not relevant to his being there. I wrote a letter to the clinic’s board of directors letting them know that I considered this line of questioning unethical and unacceptable.
No you are not over-reacting. It was absolutely non of their business unless of course the child would have been covered in bruises, which I doubt was the case.
As a former foster mom, I found out that it is not against the law in Oregon to spank your child, as long as it is not abusive.
I would complain to the clinic’s board of directors.
I am grieved (and a bit scared — some of my wife’s 2nd cousins were taken away from their parents by a hyper-active and misguided social “service” several years ago), but am also grateful for some doctors that we have here who understand and support appropriate parental discipline in love for the good of the child.
I would hope the parents meet with that Dr. and/or ask for the professional guidlines of the clinic, write a letter to the Board of Directors…etc. Can they form a support group, get some professional legal advice for future situations, because these things are going to continue to occur.
HOWEVER, let’s also consider that the more they ‘make’ of it, the more they could be found suspicious of criminal activity and abuse of the child.
It will take prayer and gentle, loving confrontation. I hope they can respond with much wisdom.
That is outrageous, and a serious breach of ethics. But I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise in a twisted atmosphere where children need a parent’s permission for a Tylenol, but not for an abortion.
It reminded me of an exercise on one of our local (public) schools in which an acquaintance’s child (his entire elementary classroom) was bribed with gifts (by a social worker–not even his normal teacher) for “public honesty” on any violence occurring in the home (by siblings, parents, etc). The father found out after the fact that they were doing fishing expeditions in the classrooms. The father’s fear was that his bribed child might suddenly “remember” doozies of incidents in order to get the correlating goods. Yikes.
I hope your friend can find another physician, and will let this one know why their services are no longer desired.
I have a very dear personal friend who is a female physician……in the town of which you spoke. She comes from Amish background, has had numerous challenges with her children who are younger than mine, and has shared intense struggles with discipline methods over the years with me. Assuming this is the person of whom was said to be spy doctor, i tend to assume she was possibly being chatty with the child to either distract the child, which knowing her, i really doubt, or she was trying to get a new idea from someone she knew would have best interest at heart in the method used. Let’s not be too quick to judge. Professional people DO make mistakes and do lead very human lives just like you and i. Have we prayed for our Christian medical personel?